Diamonds and Moonlight
by witchheart
Summary: James proposes to Lily, as seen from his (very nervous) point of view. Extremely fluffy, obviously, and very sweet. PG just to be safe.


Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would be typing this on a better computer. No, no, 'putie, I didn't mean it, really I didn't! Please don't crash, please, please, pl-

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Diamonds and Moonlight

James Potter had never been so frightened in his life. 

_That's ridiculous_, he thought. _This isn't scary at all, compared to lots of things we've done. We fight bloody _Death Eaters _on a daily basis! You've done plenty of things that scared you more than this! _Nothing came to mind, but that, he told himself firmly, didn't mean anything. 

He stole a glance out of the corner of his eye at the woman walking next to him. Her long, auburn hair hung loose around her cloaked shoulders. The moonlight reflected off the drifted snow and shimmered on her smooth skin as she gazed up at the stars. She looked contemplative and rather sad; they were on their way to a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. Soft grief and sympathy for those harmed by Voldemort's followers mingled with fierce, proud anger on her open face. As always, he was struck by how incredibly, divinely, (Sirius usually stuck his fingers in his ears somewhere around here when James started this rhapsody in his presence) impossibly beautiful she was. Tonight of all nights, this hit him strongly. He was more in love with her than he would have believed possible. 

Her gloved left hand was calm in his right, returning the gentle pressure of his grasp. He fought to keep his fingers from fidgeting; he was glad of their gloves because he could feel clammy sweat breaking out on his palms. _This is stupid, he thought. All I have to do is ask one little question. Four words; how hard can it be? _He turned his head abruptly and opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut and returned his gaze to his shoes. _Very hard_, he inwardly seethed. 

She'd noticed his erratic behavior. Her head turned toward him, face clearing as she forced their epic struggle from her thoughts. "James?" she asked. "Is anything wrong?" 

His voice came out several pitches higher and much shakier than usual. "N-no, no, nothing at all, what makes you think that?" He cut her off wildly as she opened her mouth to answer. "Hey, look, you can see Hogsmeade in the distance, we'd better hurry, hmm? Because we wouldn't want to miss the beginning of the marr-MEETING! The _meeting_; that would be awful, wouldn't it, especially on New Year's Eve. Nothing's wrong. Really."

James felt a strong urge to run across the snow-covered moor, climb Hogsmeade's distant bell tower, and jump off. Preferably onto something sharp. _That was smooth, now wasn't it?_ he hissed sarcastically to himself. _Very cool; really swept her off her feet, that did. _It was his turn to study the stars, hoping desperately that she couldn't see the hot blush he felt rising in his cheeks. 

Even without looking at her, he could see her eyebrows rise, see the amused skepticism on her face. "Are you quite sure? You seem rather . . " she chose her phrasing carefully ". . _odd_ tonight. There's nothing you wanted to talk about?" 

This was the moment; James knew it cold. The setting couldn't have been better: they were alone in the middle of a snowy, moonlit field on New Year's Eve. There had been no horribly tragedies during the past few weeks, nothing to particularly depress them. His friends were pulling for him. He was being handed the perfect opportunity on a silver platter. He fingered the small, velvet-covered box in his left-hand cloak pocket. All he had to do was say four simple words and maybe throw her name into the mix somewhere; heck, three of the words weren't even two syllables long! 

He opened his mouth and reshut it again. He couldn't do this; he just couldn't! He didn't have to do it tonight. He could do it tomorrow, when he was feeling braver, or the next day, or maybe Valentine's Day . . The bells in the distant bell tower began to toll midnight, heralding the new year with voices at once solemn and joyous. "James?" she asked again, voice soft. 

He took a deep breath and stopped walking. Her surprised exclamation was cut off in a sharp intake of breath as he turned and grabbed her other hand as well, thoughts jerky and frozen. The coldness of the snow seeped through his cloak and robes as he rested one knee on the ground at her feet. For a horrible moment, he forgot what he was supposed to say, and his mouth hung open like that of a dead fish as his eyes widened in panic. Then the words rushed back into his head and spilled out of his mouth, coming to rest irrevocably in the air between them: "Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

She was very still. _I've done this wrong, _he thought wildly. Her back was to the moon, her face in shadow; he couldn't see what she was thinking or why she was so silent. _Shouldn't she have answered by now? Or is it only to me it's seemed like hours?_ This wasn't what he had been expecting at all. _Oh, Merlin, why can't I see her face? _

Slowly, mutely, Lily pulled him to his feet. Standing up, James was almost a head taller than she was. As he straightened, her face came back into view, and horrified dread awoke in the pit of his stomach at the sight of tears flowing silently down her cheeks, diamond in the moonlight. She looked completely shocked. Neither of them heard the pealing of the bells at all anymore. "Why?" she asked. 

_Why? _James' mind had stopped working entirely at the moment he saw her tears. Merely giving the proposal had required all the nerve and force of will he possessed; nothing was left over to help him answer bizarre questions. _I have reasons for wanting to marry her,_ he thought numbly. _I do. I've been telling Padfoot about them every day for months. Why, on the honor of house elves, can't I think of any of them now? _The tears were still coursing silently down her cheeks as she waited for him to answer. _Does she have any idea how lovely she looks in the moonlight? _

Once again, his mouth opened and words spilled out, but this time he had no idea whatsoever what he was saying. "Why? Oh Merlin, Lily, it's . . it's . . I dunno - everything; everything about you. You're so incredibly brave . . you make everyone think you're not afraid of anything at all, but things get to you; they do . . you can be really and truly sad all over again every time someone gets hurt, even when you don't know them at all . . and you get angry every time too . . you never, never just accept anything that's wrong; you always try to fix it, and blame yourself when you can't . . you want to make everything right all by yourself . . you're smart and determined and funny and you're never afraid to yell at me when I'm being a git or to apologize when you are, and you're always completely honest . . and of course you're bloody gorgeous - but that's not the main thing! . . and I'm so unbelievably in love with you, and I'm going to be in love with you for the rest of my life, and . . " 

_What in the name of Merlin am I babbling about?!_ James wondered desperately. _I'm making things worse! If I can just manage to shut up and start walking and forget this ever happened, maybe Lily'll do the same thing . . _But her face was changing now, becoming less bewildered and more decisive. He could not, however, decide which emotion it was that shone so raw and strong upon it. She tilted her head upward slightly, and the moon caught her eyes as they met James' own. 

He'd always thought that Lily's large, expressive, bright green eyes were beautiful. They were never really calm; some thought or emotion was always being telegraphed to anyone who could read it. James had become a master of this art. Yet never had Lily Evans' eyes electrified him as thoroughly as they did at that moment; the depth of the feelings behind them took his breath away. He was struck anew by the vividness of their color, redoubled by the soft glimmer of tears. He wondered distantly if he was still talking. Could she possibly be thinking . . ? He made his mouth stop moving, took a breath, and forced out a single word. "Lily?" 

Slowly, without for a moment removing her eyes from his, she leaned upward. As if in a dream, he bent his head, and their lips met. He dropped her hands and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, feeling her arms come around him too. All at once, he was happier and more full of energy and life than he had ever been. He broke the kiss and ran around in the snow , yelling inarticulately with irrepressible joy. Lily ran forward too, laughing and crying; he grabbed her hands and spun her around and around in a dizzy circle until she fell against him. They kissed again, long and sweetly. 

Suddenly remembering something, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box. He stood behind her to open it, to take out the diamond solitaire and slide it gently up her right ring finger. She was still crying, though her face was radiant with joy. He could feel the enormous, crazy grin that seemed to have permanently affixed itself to his face; he couldn't have wiped it off if he'd wanted to try. 

She turned and stood with her face against his shoulder and her arms around his neck. Holding her tightly, James locked the moment away to savor for the rest of his life - his life with Lily. 

He heard his own perfect happiness reflected in her voice as she murmured, "Happy New Year, James." 

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Yes, now that you mention it, I am a hopelessly romantic sap! ;) I know everyone's done a proposal fic, but that's because they're so much fun to write, and (hopefully) to read. The makings of this have been wandering around in my head ever since I read SS/PS about five years back, so it basically wrote itself. I started it on the back of a Spanish worksheet, meaning just to amuse myself with a few paragraphs in class, but it, um . . grew. 

Anyway, it was lots of fun to write and I hope you enjoy it. Please review; say you liked it, say you hated it, say eggplants are purple, whatever! I have absolutely no problem with intelligent criticism, since it's usually even more helpful than compliments (though I have no aversion to those, either! ;) ). Even flames can be amusing, especially those that misspell "sucks". Thanks very much to everyone who reviewed my last fic, "The Battle of Tub's Depth" (LotR, so probably none of you will see this anyway, but oh well): ReKu, Queen Arwen, grumpy, Cerridwen-Evereven, prettiest in pink, Natters, The-bored-dragon, Optimus Magnus, pmting-elf, lalya, Tailyn, and M'cha Araem. Your kind words meant the world to me! Thanks again. 


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